Fashion Rule #1

My colleague Sharon asked me yesterday about the “no white after Labour Day” rule. What’s the story with this rule? Does this mean that brides and martial artists are a faux-pas after Labour Day? Even though I’ve heard of the fashion police, I’ve never actually seen them. Yet if someone wears a pair of white slacks in mid-October, they become a fashion criminal. I had to get to the bottom of this ridiculous rule. After searching on the web, I found that white is only acceptable between Memorial Day and Labour Day, but the original rule was “no white shoes” between these days. The rule then became refined to “no white dress shoes”. So there you have it ­- a pointless rule that originated with some mean etiquette teacher because likely she was jealous of her pupil’s shoes. Since only the U.S. celebrates Memorial Day I think only Americans are forced to follow this rule, and the rest of us should feel free to walk around in our white stilettos or Sorels (depending on the weather of course).

Technorati Tags: Labour Day, Stilettos, Sorel

I’ll buy one because he’s selling it!

If there is one thing that I have learned from “The fabulous life of…” it’s that celebrities make loads of money from endorsements – much more than they make practicing their talent. It makes sense for Tiger Woods to advertise golf equipment and apparel - seems to be in his line of work. It’s a shame that you don’t play as well as Tiger when you wear his brand golf shirt. There are some celebrity endorsements that are head scratchers – Dan Marino has his own line of mattresses. Apparently Quarterbacks are experts in the science of sleep. Maria Sharapova endorses digital cameras – they are so small she can take pictures while she’s playing. The Simpsons advertise Butterfinger chocolate bars. Now I’ll buy what Dan Marino and Maria Sharapova tell me what to buy – but I don’t trust chocolate bars that The Simpsons endorse … they don’t even have taste buds! I’m a savvy consumer and they can’t fool me!

Technorati Tags: Dan Marino, Maria Sharapova, The Simpsons

I’m looking for my doctor ...

It happens to everyone. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. Sometimes you just dial the wrong number on the phone by accident. Numbers can get mixed up, and with those tiny number-pads on mobile devices, it’s easy press the wrong number by mistake. But once you dial the wrong number – what do you then do? If you are intending to call a family member, and instead call the Hawaii Hilton my mistake – do you just hang up? Perhaps you apologize that you have dialed the wrong number. Or, since you’ve already called – might as well inquire they have any specials for the upcoming summer season. I don’t mind if someone dials my number in error because you never know when you’ll make new friends. Sometimes the dialers insist that they have dialed the correct number. I once received the argument that “No I’m looking for my doctor – this IS his number.” He was so adamant that he had dialed the right number that I was tempted to prescribe him two aspirin and tell him to call back in the morning. If you dial the wrong number, don’t just hang up when someone on the other end answers – that just screams “rude stalker”, and rude stalkers are the worst type of stalkers!

Technorati Tag: Wrong number

Good to the last drop

Watching television today, I saw an ad for milk that is so good that you have to squeeze out every last drop from the carton. I thought this was a bit extreme until I started looking around my house. I noticed that when my bar of soap gets so small that it keeps slipping out of my fingers, I fuse it to a new bar of soap. I use the back of my toothbrush to scrape the tube of toothpaste into a flat pancake to get out the last bit of paste. I leave the bottle of mustard upside down so that I don’t waste any of the tangy condiment. Sometimes it takes a lot of effort to get to the very last of something. The laundry detergent bottle keeps tumbling over when I turn it upside down to retrieve the last of it. And the Windex bottle begins to implode from all the air that is getting pumped out while I try to use up the last of the cleaner. For all of the effort of making use of every single last little bit of what I use, I began to consider if it is really worth it. How much money do I save by using that last sliver of soap? But then again, there are people in this world that don’t have soap – and how would they feel if they saw me haphazardly throwing the sliver out? This dilemma really has me puzzled, and the only way I can rationalize my behavior is by thinking “What would Martha do?” Actually, she would not only use up the very last of her homemade jam, she would also turn the empty bottle into a plant bottle garden.

Technorati Tags: Empty bottle, Martha Stewart, fused soap

I'm taking the stairs

When you have got to go up a few stories in a building, do you wait for the elevator or do you take the stairs? If it is a building I have never been to before, I take the elevator – but then every other time I take the stairs. I do not have the patience to wait for the elevator, and in the elevator I detest the awkward silence … seems like the perfect place to strike up a conversation, but for some reason people prefer to stare at the floor numbers changing. Those remind me of a bingo board, except its much more predictable. Dr. Marla Shapiro recommends always taking the stairs no matter where you are going. Apparently it’s good for your health. The other day I climbed 5 flights of stairs – definitely didn’t feel my health benefiting. The worst part of climbing several flights of stairs is the extremely winded and exhausted look and feeling that you have at the end. There is always the need to hide this because you need to look perfect for all the strangers that you encounter once you exit the stairwell. But taking the stairs down several flights is another story. It’s so easy and effortless – you can even slide down the banister! It can be a challenge to see how fast you can run down the stairs, until you miss a step and tumble down and get a fat lip. At least you don’t have to deal with the unfriendly people in the elevator.

Technorati Tags: Marla Shapiro, Stairwell, Elevator, Bingo Board

The infamous crosswalk button

When crossing a busy street – it is very important to follow the walk signals. But how can you expedite the signal change from the “Talk to the Hand” to “Man Dancing the Robot” signals? Some people come to the corner of the street and just stare at the signal. Unless they have superpowers or are mentalists, the signal isn’t going to change any time soon. Maybe they are germophobes and don’t want to press the walk signal button for risk of being infected. Then there are other people who press the button constantly until the signal changes. Their rational is that if you press the button 100 times - the traffic signal will think that there are 100 people waiting at the corner. Clearly you can’t keep 100 people waiting on the corner – that’s just rude. I notice where I live that when the school crossing guard presses the walk signal button it changes immediately – almost like the traffic signal fears the wrath of the crossing guard. I tried wearing a fluorescent orange vest and pressing that button – the signal didn’t change any faster than usual.

Technorati Tags: Mentalist, Crosswalk, Crossing Guard

Are you growing oranges in here?

After watching Home and Garden television this weekend I have come to the conclusion that we are obsessed with scent. Apparently the natural smell of our homes is disgusting and we need to mask it with “rain shower” or “berry fresh” scents. I have been on a mountain, and it did not smell anything like “mountain breeze” – but it might be because there was no breeze that day. Regardless, I think the whole idea of these phony scents in our homes is getting out of hand. Have you ever smelled anything that is unscented – it has a scent! Why do we need to disguise our homes as being a “citrus grove” where clearly there are no oranges being grown. Using “tropical mist” will not turn your house into a Polynesian getaway. If your house smells bad, take out the garbage and wash the dirty laundry (there - I just saved you the trouble of buying air freshener).

Technorati Tags: Air Freshener,   HGTV

Change your baking soda

I have a calendar on my fridge that came with stickers that you put on the calendar to remind you of important events. The list of stickers is quite comprehensive: chiropractor, doctor and dentist appointments, mortgage renewal, and even hunting season (I definitely don’t want to miss that – I’m looking to catch myself some ripe apples this year)! This weekend I was looking at a few items that I’ve had around the house for a while and realized that I never keep track of when I purchased these and when they need replacing. Did you know that the box of baking soda in the fridge is supposed to be changed every 3 months? Of course I forget to change it because there is no “change baking soda” sticker for my calendar. I can’t believe that are stickers to remind you to fertilize your lawn, but not baking soda replacement. Next year I’ll buy a calendar made by Arm and Hammer.

The shower pouf

Move over bar soap – there’s a new suds machine in town! The shower pouf is a marvel! Just put a drop of liquid soap on the pouf and watch the unbelievable happen … a plethora of bubbles before your eyes. It lathers up so well it’s like a bubble bath! I don’t know what it is about this strange accessory, but if you try to put liquid soap on a traditional washcloth – you don’t get nearly as many bubbles. No wonder it’s called a pouf, it’s so magical! I think I’m going to use a shower pouf to clean my windows and wash the car (not the same one that I use in the shower) … it might put the sponge out of business. Of course I’ll have to use shower liquid soap, you can’t use a shower pouf with regular soap (that would be just silly). I think that’s what the Old Spice Nascar uses.

Being a “Paki”

Do you notice how things that were once lame or taboo are now oh so cool? Take for instance things from India. I remember when I was young, anything from India was considered as so backward and lame. The big stainless steel cooking pots (which are used to cook for 50+ family members) were seen as cauldrons, the food smelled unappetizing, and the dressing style was considered impractical. However now Indians seem to be the coolest of the cool. Being called a Paki now is a compliment! Nose rings are worn by men and probably dogs pretty soon. Those silly Bollywood movies with people singing and dancing in fields of flowers, and hiding behind trees are now mainstream. Everyone eats naan and samosas. Indians probably even set the trend for this era of bling-bling with all the jewelry worn (check out the bling on this bride!). Who will be the next cool culture to break through the cultural boundaries? I sure hope it is the Inuit, because I think it would be so cool to be living in an igloo and riding around on dog sleds!

Shoe soupspoon

Do you use a shoehorn? I use a shoehorn every day because I am too lazy to open the laces of my shoes. But shoehorns are not very common – you used to get them in hotels along with the soap and shower caps. Now you hardly see them. There is something about the shoehorn that screams “Old Man” – but I disagree. They are a great invention. Putting on shoes is a breeze with a shoehorn. You don’t bend the back of your shoe, or damage your index finger trying to squeeze your foot into the shoe. There are many types of shoehorns – from the conventional boring ones, to wacky ones you can get at Ikea. But the name “shoehorn” is so strange. Its not really a horn – because otherwise you’d be able to blow into it and a loud sound would come out of the end. After that thing has been around your feet for a while – don’t put it in your mouth! And it’s not like a horn on a bull - it doesn’t poke and hurt you. It’s gentle and helpful. I thought shoe soupspoon might be a better name for this marvelous tool.

The grocery store music station

Why is there music playing at the grocery store while you shop? In the last few weeks I have heard Hootie and the Blowfish’s “Only want to be with you” many times in the store where I shop. If not a Hootie classic, it is soft rock. I think its so that you recognize the song, start singing along – become happy and then purchase items that reflect your happy mood. You think of last summer and the happy times with friends – and select some food accordingly. Then as you’re singing along to Simon and Garfunkle’s Cecilia, you remember a great recipe that you saw on the food network, and buy the ingredients for that. The more songs you hear, the more you sing, and the more items you buy. These grocery store DJ’s must have a degree in marketing – or maybe psychology. The grocery store all of a sudden becomes the ultimate karaoke club! In the end a grocery trip where you only meant to buy milk and bananas has turned into an entire grocery cart full of expensive food that makes you feel happy. It’s not until you are carrying all those groceries into the house when you realize that you’ve been duped. So here are my suggestions for managing your next visit to the grocery store:

1. Make a grocery list on a piece of cardboard and use a crayon to write out the items. You’ll be so busy trying to hide this embarrassing list from the other patrons in the store that you won’t even notice the music
2. Wear earplugs - it’s a double bonus when you can’t hear the music or the cashier telling you your total (might lead to free groceries!)
3. Bring a banjo along and play some country tunes to drown out the music in the store. Annoyed people will stay away from you and likely you won’t have to wait in the a line at the checkout
4. Buy a cow and a banana plant – you’ll never have to go to the store to purchase these two things again!

Brian’s nasty lunch

I’m just going to come out and say it. I can’t stay quiet any longer. I am disappointed with Michelina. She advertises her frozen entrees as being hearty and delicious and even provides multicultural cuisine (a departure from her Italian roots). But when Brian was eating lunch yesterday I had a look at what Michelina was serving up – and it was pretty terrible. His “Teriyaki Bowl” looked more like Teriyaki soup with mushy rice with dehydrated red pepper. Where are the crispy vegetables and chicken? Michelina what’s happened to you? You used to provide such tasty microwavable meals!

I am also disappointed in the US Department of Agriculture for inspecting and approving this Michelina Teriyaki Bowl for Wholesomeness. I as Brian’s lunch inspector completely disagree. It was neither wholesome nor edible. How can the USDA expect the hard working individuals of industrialized countries to eat such terrible food? Don’t the inspectors have a discerning palette? If the USDA approves such poor quality food I’ve got some sawdust in my backyard that I can form into “clusters” and sell as a high fiber snack.

Before taking drastic action against the USDA or Michelina perhaps I should look at the expiration date of the Teriyaki Bowl – those dates may have a purpose after all.

My treasure chest

I think I am a small-item pack rat. This is not the same as a regular pack rack because I don’t keep everything. I keep small things that I’m sure to use at some point in the future. All of these items fit into an Alexander Keith’s Pilsner Glass (which is another story because I have no idea how I ended up with this glass). When inspecting the contents of this glass I realized that it first was intended to be a pen holder – because there are a lot of pens in it. But there is a lot of other stuff also. The treasures inside of this glass include:

1. A key to a car that I no longer own
2. A combination lock. The combination I am subconsciously trying to remember
3. A wet nap from El Pollo Loco. The last time I saw this restaurant was 3 years ago in California, and I’ve never eaten there – but why throw out a perfectly good wet nap
4. A leather book mark that I stopped using because it was staining the pages of my books (the whole idea of a leather bookmark is weird)
5. A “Science Foundation” flashlight/key ring that sometimes works – you never know when we’ll have another blackout
6. An Ikea golf pencil for when I’m ready to tee off
7. Business cards from people who get excited that they have business cards and enthusiastically hand them out
8. An eyeglass screwdriver
9. Five Wu Jiao (no idea why I have Chinese currency)
10. Several pens, highlighters, paper clips and a twist tie (you can never have enough)

It’s remarkable how much will fit into a pint glass! Now I know all the great stuff I have in my treasure chest. When I buy my next car, I’ll take this key along – if it works, it will save me a trip to the locksmith!

Why doesn’t fruit have an expiration date?

Are you an expiration date rebel? Do you laugh at the cryptic date branded into the side of milk cartons and yogurt containers? I don’t follow those expiration dates because I think they are a big conspiracy for you to throw out perfectly good food with the fear that it has spoiled. How do they know that the yogurt will only be good for 10 days? Where’s the scientific evidence that they’ve used to come to this conclusion – and why don’t that share that information with us? I’m just supposed to take their word for it – I don’t think so! Some things that really don’t require an expiration date have one – like bread. Many plastic tabs on the bread have expiration dates printed on them. Seems like a bad idea all around. Who keeps those tabs long enough to realize the expiration date? Some things should come with expiration dates but don’t – like fruits and vegetables. I think fruit could benefit from expiration dates much more than bread. Then there are those packaged consumables that have expiration dates that really mean nothing – like Oreos. Even if its month’s after the cookies have expired, I’m still going to eat them. I'm not giving into the conspiracy!

What are they listening to?

Since the mainstream use of the Sony Walkman, people have been able to take their favorite audio with them anywhere they like. Do you ever wonder what people are listening to? If you were to see a young business woman in a power suit walking to work with her headphones on – what would you assume she’s listening to? One would guess an audio version of David Bach’s “Smart Girls Finish Rich.” But I threw these stereotypes out the window when I could hear the music spilling out of a middle-aged woman’s earbuds while waiting at a bus stop – she was listening to Blink 182! My theory is that personal music players are popular because they let you listen to music that you could never listen to through speakers for fear of getting caught. So teenage boys are in the zone with Ravi Shankar, retired Navy Seals are enjoying the sensitivity of John Mayer, and grandmothers are rapping with Kanye West.

World Records - Part 2

I don’t understand the world record phenomenon. Recently someone sat in a chair for something like 68 hours straight, and is now the world’s best couch potato. Is this really something you want to be proud of? Is this a legacy you leave for your kids? Ya my great grandfather was the worlds laziest guy. Look, this book documents it. And I don’t understand why people set these records just for their own satisfaction. How satisfying is it to know that you can allow bees to fly up your nose? Maybe it’s a conversation starter? These people are so desperate for friends that they will sit in a chair for 4 days until they set a record of doing so. Then at parties when they are sitting in chairs (or wearing bees), someone will say – hey you look familiar ... You’re the world record guy! I’m sure that happens to all world record holders.

World Records - Part One

I read in the newspaper that some fellow from Columbia was allowing thousands of bees to sit on his face in an attempt to set a world record. There was a photo of him, completely covered in bees – they were crawling up his nose and around his eyelids! Now really, is this absolutely necessary!?! If he sets that world record, what is he expecting to receive in return? A medal of honor? Congratulations, you just subjected yourself to a million bee stings, please wear this medal to acknowledge the fact that you are crazy. If I ever saw that guy in the street, I’d go up to him and thank him for grossing me out for the entire day after seeing his face covered in bees. More thoughts on this tomorrow - thinking of all those bees is making me feel ill.

Riders take your mark...

A question for the ages … when you hear the subway chime, do you run to sneak in through the closing doors, or do you wait for the next train? The chime is like a starters pistol for some – they dart for the subway cart as soon as they hear the chime. It was meant to let riders know that the doors are closing. It is not a conductor shouting “ALL ABOARD” – but it’s also not a deterrent to run into the train.

I often see people sneaking into the train just as the doors are about to close – but usually they are super petite and can manage to fit through the tiny gap between the doors, or are large and stalwart and can pull apart the doors with their massive arms. I am neither petite nor stalwart, but I thought I would take my chances and dart during the chime. I almost made it through, but my backpack got stuck in the door and it was a serious struggle to be released from the evil grip of the doors. In discussing this with my daily commuting friend Luis, he recounted his experience with running during the chime. When on the subway, he noticed a woman running for the closing doors. Unfortunately the only part of her that made it into the train was her face (not even her entire head). The doors closed on her cheeks (ouch!). To prevent such embarrassment in front of complete strangers, as well as damage to my cheeks, I will wait for the next train.

Italian cleaning products

Have you ever heard of such things as Italian cleaning products? Today I went to the local dollar store to purchase a few cleaning products for my house and noticed that they are made in Italy (can you believe something sold in the dollar store is not made in China!). Luckily I was with an Italian friend, Caterina, who was not surprised at all – because “Italians are very intense about their cleaning”. The label on the mop says “Lavapavimenti” – or “Wash floor” (Italian’s don’t mix words – they just tell it like it is). Caterina even shared the story of “La Befana” with me – an old lady that was so busy cleaning her house that she didn’t have the time to join the three wise men to visit baby Jesus. But then after cleaning her house she realized she missed a prime opportunity – she grabbed her broom and ran to find the manger. I’m sure she wanted to sweep up all the loose straw on the floor.

Jumbotron

The whole idea of gigantic video screens intrigues me. There's something about seeing a L’Oreal spokesperson’s head 10 times its usual size that makes me want to run out and buy hair color.

I wonder about those TV screens. Sometimes you see a single one as a billboard substitute - in those instances you have to be careful while driving by them. You may think it’s a static billboard advertising Ford's F Series trucks. Then all of a sudden it changes to ladies in lingerie advertising Victoria’s Secret’s new “wonder” product. Could be a driving hazard!

Remember 10 years ago when the coolest billboards were those that flipped through three different ads with Venetian blind type strips – such simple things impressed us then. It’s funny that time-shifting and PVR’s are becoming so popular because you can skip through commercials – but during driving, we don’t have our remotes, and we have to watch commercials on the jumbotron while driving! You know those advertisers well get you somehow.

But what about the city squares that have six TV screens at once - what are you supposed to look at? It’s just sensory overload! When you watch travel shows about big cities, they always show the city square with the jumbotron screens. What’s going on? Do we all have a lot of grey hair that requires some touch up, and this is the most direct way we can be told?

Haircuts

They’re part of most people’s lives – haircuts. However, they can literally make or break you. I find that every few months I am in dire need of a haircut – and then the day I choose to get my hair cut, I have a great hair day (oh the irony). So there I go, with my great hair – to have it chopped off and restyled. I went for a hair cut two weeks ago, and am still recovering from the experience. I received a rather poor cut – not at all what I was hoping for. Now granted it is only hair, and it will grow back – but I have to live with this awful hairdo until it does grow out.

From this experience I have picked up few pointers when it comes to hair:

1. If you need to clarify what you would like to the hairdresser, reconsider. Either you are way off with the style you want, or the hairdresser doesn’t understand what you want. Either way – you’ll have a surprise when you’re done.

2. If people comment “Oh you got a haircut” – that means you look bad.

3. If people comment “Nice haircut” in a sincere manner – either you look good, or they are just being nice because your hair looks terrible (it’s a tough call on that one).

4. When the stylist tries to sell you hair care products after your cut – that means using this product is the only way to salvage your terrible new hairdo until it grows out.

5. If you wear glasses – opt for contact lenses while you get your haircut, or again you’ll receive a surprise at the end.

I once read that people who brood over their bad haircuts are candidates for high blood pressure. Wouldn’t that just be great – I’d die of hypertension WITH a bad haircut.

Inspiration and Perspiration

Most of us are familiar with the famous quote from Thomas Edison, “Genius is 1% inspiration, and 99% perspiration.” I’m sure we can all understand the message being conveyed – but of course I question this. Is the message really that hard work counts the most, or is there a deeper meaning?

What does it mean to be inspired? If you attend a lecture that inspires you – are you then going to rush out and work hard, or “perspire”, to reach your new goals? Or are you going to stumble out and sweat (or “perspire”) over all that you should be doing but haven’t already? Is “genius” being inspired and as a result working hard, or scaring yourself to work hard after seeing other’s success? Are we inspired to perspire, or perspire because we should be inspired?

I don’t think this is a matter of envy (that’s a deadly sin after all). It’s more consideration to the lack of personal success in comparison to others (hmm… I hope this is not a deadly sin). I don’t want what they have, but I want something of my own. It might just be because I don’t appreciate what I have or what I’ve accomplished – but when I see 20-year olds being called “the one to watch”, or “the next Prime Minister” it makes me think that I’m am being left behind.

I have met several people who are considered “movers and shakers” or “top 30 under 30” – and honestly, they inspire me. Their style, personality, and work ethic are a credit to their success. They make me feel that I too can be someone who inspires! I can make a difference! I can change the world! Yikes - is it getting hot in here?

Umbrella: friend or foe?

We are currently experiencing a “storm system” according to Environment Canada. Yesterday when the storm started, several people on the street immediately took out their umbrellas to protect themselves from the precipitation – but for some of them, their umbrella’s did not want to cooperate. The wind either flipped their umbrella’s inside out (becoming rain collectors instead of deflectors), or made the people airborne like Mary Poppins (I saw it with my own eyes!).

It got me thinking about the umbrella – is it a friend, or a foe? I like umbrellas because they keep you dry, and they serve as a cocoon from the rest of the world. When you’ve got your umbrella out – you have more personal space while walking. You can also use them in the summer to provide shade. But the weather has to be just right in order to use an umbrella effectively. The slightest gust of wind will make handling the umbrella more work than it’s worth (as the people I saw yesterday would tell you). My colleague Emily worked in Denmark - where apparently because of the wind, the rain comes in horizontally. The umbrella would not be very useful there.

Then there is the issue of umbrella storage. After using the umbrella in wet weather, what do you do with it when you go indoors or in the subway? That narrow sleeve that comes with the umbrella is useless when the umbrella is wet. If you store the umbrella while wet, the next time you open it you have a soggy, nylon fabric drape - not an umbrella! Some people refuse to use umbrellas and wear waterproof coats instead – like fishermen. I guess it is difficult to pull in drift nets while wrestling with a brolly on the open seas.

Walking etiquette

Yesterday while on my way to work, I was cut off twice. I guess this would not be unexpected while on the highway, but I was walking … so it was rather unusual. The first time I was coming out of the subway. Someone who was smoking a cigarette cut me off – so in addition to putting on the brakes, I had the extra exhaust to deal with. The second time was inside our building by someone who had just purchased a hot cup of coffee.

Now you may not think that this is so strange, but it was annoying, and had I not been careful – I could have experienced 2nd degree burns! I decided to look for walking rules so that we can all avoid future encounters like the ones I experienced. Luckily, there are “pavement etiquette” rules available that we can all follow. Read them closely – they are very informative. Unfortunately for me, one of the rules is to not use a stroller to push other people out of the way – that was the way I was getting even!

Bananas

I have a love-hate relationship with bananas. Bananas have several benefits: they’re healthy to eat, they provide much needed yellow color in your kitchen to contrast the avocado green refrigerator, and the peel can be thrown on the ground to make the person behind you slip and fall. But the banana is still not my most favorite fruit. I think its goes back to when I was young and my mother brought home some banana-flavored medicine. I’m not sure which genius thought that making medicine taste like bananas will make kids want to take it more… really - it just increases the gag factor. Yesterday I was telling Brian (of podcasting fame) that when I bring a slightly ripe banana for lunch, all of a sudden every single thing in my bag smells like bananas. So yesterday I ended up with a banana-smelling sandwich, laptop, and wallet (the smell of leather and bananas don’t mix – in case you thought you could capitalize on it). So what can be done about this banana problem? I found the “Bananabox” online that promises no more worries about bananas “getting smashed in your bag, lunch box, or suit pocket”. The suit pocket was really my biggest concern – thank goodness for this invention! I wonder if it does anything for the smell?

Happy Groundhog Day!

Well I don’t actually know if this is a day that requires felicitations or not – but since it is supposed to be the middle of winter, we can all use a greeting today. There are several different types of animals that poke their heads out of the ground, but somehow “Happy Earthworm Day” doesn’t seem to have the same ring. Plus I doubt many people would gather around a tiny hole to see an earthworm pop out of it.

One thing that I cannot handle about Groundhog Day is the town crier announcing if the groundhog saw his shadow or not. All that manic shouting is so unnecessary. I understand the origin of town criers, but honestly – someone should introduce these people to the microphone or bullhorn. They need not shout anymore!

Oh and in case you were wondering, some Groundhogs saw their shadows, others didn’t – and meteorologists still have their jobs.

In the future an entire meal will come in a pill...

I must confess… I am a vitamin junky. I know - it’s a habit I’m not proud of… but really, is there any way of avoiding it? Every time I go to the doctor there is a new vitamin I’m not taking. “You need Vitamin E for your skin” – another pill. “You should take more vitamin C” – 3 more tablets. “Omega 3 helps cholesterol” – a capsule this time. Every morning I have about 8 different vitamins, all for different purposes. Now when I got to a vitamin shop, I leave wondering if there is really any purpose to eating real food anymore? There are pills for everything, and if you’re not a big fan of pills, you can get most things in powder or liquid form. So really, I’m surprised that the grocery store hasn’t disappeared all together. Think about it everything that you eat in the day can be replaced by something in a vitamin shop. Cereal and milk in the morning – fiber and calcium tablets. Salad at lunch – greens powder mix. Steak for dinner – iron tablets. I’m surprised more people haven’t caught onto this … because think of the time you’d save if you didn’t have to eat. People keep waiting for meals to be in tablet form, but clearly those people are oblivious because multivitamins have been around for ages. Take one and that’s your entire meal!

Welcome

After reading blogs of several friends, I decided that I should “get with the program” and get a blog of my own. (I hope Oprah doesn’t sue me for using that phrase). I consider myself an observer of this puzzling world we live in – and I had might as well share my observations with everyone.

Thanks to my tall friend Brian McKechnie (who is also a podcast celebrity) for helping me set this up. Visit his site at http://bamcat.blogspot.com.